Me: Is it weird to miss a car?
Neighbor: LOL No not at all
A few weeks ago I was rear ended by a 21-year-old who, in his words, was “distracted” and “not paying attention.” Reading between the lines, I’d say he was staring at his phone, but whatever. In the end his parents’ insurance covered the nearly $7k in damages.
It was the first time any of my vehicles have been damaged in an accident. I’ve come out of the grocery store to find a dent in my door, and years ago my car was broken into. Once, a driver ahead of me struck a deer and it careened off my windshield, but surprisingly the only damage was to the deer.
Leaving my car at the collision shop for two weeks, I missed it. More than I should’ve, maybe, but it was like a part of me was being repaired.
In an earlier draft of this post, I focused on how all suffering originates in attachment. Buddhists believe that “when we become attached to people, things, or ideas, we create a sense of dependency and expectation that can lead to disappointment, frustration, and pain when those attachments are disrupted or lost.”
When I reread my words, I realized I was trying to convince myself that I’d attached too much significance to a car; that it was “just” a car. But anyone who’s ever owned a car—and especially anyone who’s not owned a car and needed one—understands that a car isn’t “just” a car. (And if you don’t believe me, listen to Tracy Chapman).
My mother chose not to learn how to drive, and I grew up witnessing her dependence (and subsequent frustration) with having to arrange rides when Dad was out of town. When I got my driver’s license, I knew I had access to something she never would: the freedom to come and go at will.
So am I attached to my car? Is that why I felt grief-ish while it was being repaired? No, that wasn’t the reason. It’s because when freedom is suddenly taken away, it can leave us feeling frightened, angry, and unsure of the future. Considering this in the broader context of our current political climate and the freedoms that have been curtailed and the myriad more that we will be stripped of should certain people come into power again, it’s no wonder there is a sense of panic, fear, and grief within the fabric of our society and democracy.
I’m glad to have my car back, but it wasn’t the car I missed. Turns out, I’m attached to freedom.
Please vote for freedom on November 5.
Lynn Haraldson, Author and Writing Mentor 
Not too long ago, maybe 3 weeks ago, we were rear-ended on the Parkway East in slow, stop and go traffic. No harm to the car and woman who hit us- twice. I can still hear the bang, bang as she did it. But mine had some dents and I wasn’t sure if my back door would work. We had to pay the $500 deductible and get a loaner car. While I got a car that was a newer version of my own car, I still missed my car. Knowing where everything was, how everything worked made driving seamless. The newer version had many similarities and many differences. It made me uncomfortable, so I drove it as little as possible. At the same time having to pay the deductible hurt just as much as seeing the dents in my hatchback door. My car is fixed now, but we’re still waiting to be re-imbursed.
She hit you TWICE? Ugh… She’s at fault, I hope you’re reimbursed soon. I had a similar situation with the rental car. It was the same make and model as mine, but four years newer and it had features I wasn’t comfortable with. I drove it very little and was so relieved to get my own car back.
It took a while but I did get re-imbursed. Merry Christmas!
From emmaclaire: I admit I’m attached to my car Maizie as well. There’s nothing particularly special about her, but we’ve been together 11 years and we’re a team. I know I’ll need to replace her in the next couple of years (213,000 miles is a lot of miles…), but I admit I’m not overly excited about an upgrade. I told my husband what I really wanted for my next car was Maizie, only younger. Like some forward thinking Mazda nerd bought a Mazda 5 12 years ago and stuck it in a garage, saving it for just the right person to come along and buy at some future date. Not gonna happen. But, to your bigger point, I also am a fan of the freedom that comes with being able to get out and go wherever I need/want to. I cannot fathom not learning how to drive and being dependent on others or public transportation to get around. I know I’m spoiled by being able to afford a car, the gas to put in her, and the insurance as well, but boy howdy, I’d miss that freedom if it was taken away. My ballot went in the mail today!
EC, you know if you put out the word for a Mazda 5, someone out there will know someone who has one 🙂 I hope you find her! Also, thank you for voting 🙂 xo L